The Christian Home

What is the Foundational Principle of The Christian Home? 

• The foundational principle of the Christian home is to have Christ at the head. “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God” (1 corinthians 11:3).”Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it:…” (Psalm 127:1).  
• The husband must be submitted to Christ who is His head
• The wife is submitted to the husband who is submitted to Christ
• The children are raised and trained according to God’s instructions
• All answers for the home is taken from the word of God
• The household is governed and uphold according to God’s commands and precepts.

A Great Privilege From God

As a people, it is our privilege to be able to call the Creator of the universe Father. By calling God our Father reminds us that we are His children.  In Romans 8:15 the bible tells us, “For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, Abba Father.” Galatians 4:6 affirms us more by saying, “And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, Abba, Father.”

We show our gratitude to God when we proclaim His words back to Him by saying,”Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ” (Ephesians 1:3). What a great privilege! given by God’s design and grace, He has made it possible for men to be fathers. Women to be mothers. Parents have the great privilege to be able to shape and mold the heritage and the rewards of God and He gave the very instruction in how to accomplish this task. 

God offers instruction, but we must accept His instruction and commandments in order to apply them to our lives and to the lives of our children. God’s instruction is given so that we are well-equipped with knowledge, wisdom and understanding. God tells us,”But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you”(Matthew 6:33). God tells us that, “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you” (Psalm 32:8). Proverbs 4:13, NIV: “Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life.”  

The Bible tells us that, “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16-17)”For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12).God’s words given to us by our Creator God, our Heavenly Father instructs us first about our relationship to Him and that of our household and all those around us.

When we are obedient to the word of God then we become transformed day by day to in image of His son Jesus. It is impossible to be formed into the image of Jesus Christ without His Word in us because we must voluntarily cooperate with God in His purpose in order for Him to do the forming. The forming must be accompanied by our knowing and understanding His will for our lives. God’s words is foundational for our Christian life. We must firmly, know where we stand in relation to God and His purpose, or our human nature will rise up and resist conforming to His will. We must know that He is close, that He is love, that He is wisdom, and that He has power over every situation in our lives.

Parents Responsibility In The Home

Every Christians must always be aware of being observed by God in every word, thought and deed. The private life of the Christian is of far more importance than that of the public. There are many children who have parents who are professing believers but such children will not come to church with their parents because what they see and know are two sides to their parents. One that they show the world and another than they show in their homes. Such parents cannot get the children to surrender their lives to Jesus and they are surprise. In order for our children especially when they get older and see that what we say does not line up with how we live makes them see us as hypocrites.It is a common Knowledge that most Christians are polite and pleasant in the public eye but are deceptively the opposite in the home when in relation with the family. 

We must be above reproach in all manner of life especially in our homes and before our children. No Christians should be a different person in public than who they are in private. Therefore, careful attention to one’s behavior, surroundings and company are absolutely critical with regards to lifestyle and conduct.

The Godly Husband

All Godly husbands needs God their Heavenly Father to influence their relationships. To be a godly husband or wife requires that we first surrender our lives to the lordship of Jesus Christ. To be “godly” means we must have God in all areas of our lives. When His Spirit lives in us, He empowers us to live godly lives and past such lives unto our children.

The godly husband’s life is transforms unto the likeness of the Father. The best way to do this is to compare oneself to Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who Himself said: “Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father” (John 14:5-14). Like a good soldier, the godly husband must keep focused on the greater task of achieving the glory of God, placing that as the highest priority in life above self-gratification and personal goals (Philippians 3:8). 

The godly husband knows and live a lifestyle where Jesus Christ is the head of Him. He is the head of his wife according to the plan and purpose of God’s design for them. There are many self-help books on marriages and relationships in our world today. Many of these books shows formulas that they believe will work in marriage relationships. However, none of those books provides us with any long lasting effects for all of life’s problem, specifically for our homes.

There is one book, however, which was written thousands of years ago, that contains the best advice ever written in any book. This book is called “the Bible” or “The Word of God”;written by the authority of God – who inspired Holy men to carry out His instruction to mankind His creation. The word of God teaches men how to be a Christian, it teaches husbands about how to be to their wives and govern their homes. It teaches wives how to be towards their husbands and it teaches children how to be towards their parents. 

If the husband and wife follows God’s instruction then the fruits are solid marriages which then produce stable, grounded and secure children. Even worldly psychologists will attest to this fact.There is a foundational key missing from the institution of the family and from the marriages. What so many marriages are missing today is God as the foundation. Many couples who are professing believers, overlook the importance of God in their relationship, decision-making in everything and then they become surprise at the result in their lives and homes. 

The Father’s God-given Role

God would never give us children and then let us fail at training them. so the problem is that we have not kept God’s commandments neither have we obeyed His instructions; wherever we are failing. We are told by the word of God to: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). 

According to Andrew Courtis “A Christian (father) has the opportunity to reflect the gracious relationship God the Father has with His children. As an earthly father does this, he is entering into a role in which he is able to teach and instruct his children in the ways of the Lord. He asked: “What are the priorities of a father? I would like to share two priorities: Submission to Christ and Shepherding his Children.

(1)Submission To Christ – Courtis points out, “I find it very interesting that we are told that Enoch, walked with God after he fathered Methuselah” (Gen. 5:22). It was as if this great responsibility of being a father awakened him to the priority of pleasing God. Being a father is a huge responsibility. Such a responsibility can only be carried effectively if a father is committed to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. A godly father is a man who knows the Lord Jesus Christ and submits himself to His authority. This act of submission forms and shapes the way the man will be a father. He will learn in the Scriptures what the Word teaches concerning character and conduct. A godly (father) is a humble and holy man with a passion to honour Jesus Christ.

(2) Shepherding His Children – The second priority of a godly father is his commitment to shepherding his children. The Scriptures command, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” 

Instruction To Fathers

Ephesians 6:4, is a wonderful summary of instructions to the father, to not provoke their children but instead to “bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” The Christian father is really an instrument in God’s hand. The whole process of instruction and discipline must be that which God commands and which He administers, so that His authority should be brought into constant and immediate contact with the mind, heart, and conscience of children. The father should never present himself as the ultimate authority to determine truth and duty. 

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” In Psalm 127:3 the bible tells us, “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” Children are not only God’s heritage but children are God’s rewards therefore only God can and should instruct us how to bring them up.

Fathers are commanded to teach their children the commands of the Lord and to do so diligently. When they go to bed God’s Law and His requirements should always be the last thing they hear about), “and when you rise” (first thing in the morning when possible).  “The father represents to the family what the high priest was to Israel.  As  the spiritual leader and the spiritual head of the family; God will hold them accountable.”

The Godly Wife

“A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands” (Proverbs 14:1).

There is a dangerous family destroying trend all over the “Body of Christ” placed there by the deceiver; a very wicked and deceitful trend with an effort to make the Bible – The Word of God to fit the views of the society and culture in which we live. Such trend is deceiving women to destroy their families with rebellion, and throw away their marriages through unsurrendered hurts, bitterness, resentment, pride, unforgiveness  which leads to alienation, separation or divorce. Such wicked trends twist the children to take sides damaging them in ways unimaginable.

Hello Wives! Hello Mothers! Hello Women!  The deceiver who come to steal, kill and destroy does not care about any human being male or female made in the image of God, he hates us all. He wants women to rebel against God’s authority by disobeying what God word tells us to do. When God made Eve, it was in order that she might be a helper suitable for Adam (Gen. 2:18). This is the same word used ‘Helper’ to refer to the Holy Spirit as well; who helps us and leads us into all truths. God needs women today who will faithfully portray through their lives, the glory that He originally intended to manifest the true beauty of the woman which is inner beauty, when He created Eve. We women today are obsessed with our looks, outer appearances; did you ever realized that the woman in Proverbs 31:10-31 called the virtuous woman – her physical appearance was never mentioned. We are wise to study her life and read about her. Consider these two verses, “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:11-12). She knows that she is a gift from God to her husband; not for herself, besides no gift get up and leave or return itself. Indeed, she is a woman clearly submitted to both God and her husband. She did it God’s way not her way. Notice how both the husband, the children and everyone else sees such a woman.

What Happened When A Wife/Woman Does It Her Way Instead of God’s?

(1) She destroys her own life

(2) She destroys her marriage

(3) She destroys her husband

(4) She destroys her children

(5) She destroys the next generation

(6) She destroys the church

(7) She is a stumbling block to the unsaved

Today many wives are walking in blatant disobedience to God and this time they are not being deceived by no serpent but rather by themselves because they operate by their own feelings, they are full of pride, resentment, hatred, bitterness, un-forgiveness; they do not submit to or care about what the Bible says. Instead, they have leaned to their own understanding; they refused to acknowledge God in all their ways so that He can direct their paths. They have become wise in their own eyes as Eve did. Such un-submitted disobedient women; expects to have husbands like Christ loves the church and gave Himself – yet they neither submit to God or their husbands. Then they are then surprise why these men fell into sin, why they go outside to seek affirmation because they are living with women who have no respect for them and they have taught their children to do likewise. Many husbands are influenced into going along with what the woman does just like Adam. Such wives resents their husbands position and as such refused to submit to them. Many of these husbands are catering and have become passively silenced – under the guise of devilish feminism equality. Such men walk around with guilt and political correctness attitudes because they do not want to be accused of being male chauvinistic for what other men laden with sin did to some women in the pass or even today. Consequently, instead of standing for God as real men to defend and walk in the role God designed for them; they then fell into the cliques of “happy wife, happy life,” standing passively by while their families fall apart. 

Wives it was not Adam who said that the husband will rule over the wife; it was God because that was part of the punishment for Eve’s disobedience which affect us all as women. Therefore, if we feel and have a problem with submission; with our husbands ruling over us then we need to go back to God who gave the commandments. It was God who said to Eve, “I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee” (Genesis 3:16). Let us look at this same verse in the NLT “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy,and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband,but he will rule over you” (Genesis 3:16 – NLT).We are willing to bear the pain of childbirth because we know the joy of motherhood. Indeed, we are willing to bear the pain for our baby; taking care until they can do for themselves-besides we women never stop caring for our children. However, we refuse to bear with our husbands; praying daily for them; to become transform to the image of Christ so that they can truly love us like Christ love His church and gave Himself for it.

A godly wife honours and respects her husband by praying daily for him through her own submission to God and that which she requires of her children. She prays for his obedience to God first according to Matthew 6:33. She prays daily for his walk, his talk, is repentance, their marriage, she prays against temptation – in this she shows true submission and obedience to God. When a wife submits to her husband, she is actually submitting to the authority of God’s Word which commands her to do so; and she is then being influenced by the power of God and not herself. Even unconverted husbands can be won over by such a wife according to (1 Peter 3:1-2). Sadly, instead of doing so many wives are trying to repeat what was done in Eden – making decisions we have no business making and taking a role which was never given to us. Such wives love with condition; they have check list; they are time card keepers and worldly knowledge seekers; succumbing to their fleshly desires with disastrous effects. 

The Responsibility of The Wife

Titus 2:4 calls for wives “to love their husbands.” A good description of the kind of love your husband needs is “unconditional acceptance.” In other words, accept your husband just as he is—an imperfect person. While all of us are called to help each other, the Bible places a special emphasis on this responsibility for wives towards their husbands. Genesis tells us that God realized it wasn’t good for man to be alone, and that He decided to make a “helper suitable for him” (Gen. 2:18). Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Saviour of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Eve’s decision to take a role that was not given to her; caused her to destroyed her own life, led her husband to sin against and disobeyed God and plunge all humanity into sin.

God knew that is was Eve who ate from the tree first then gave it to her husband Adam; yet when God came He addressed Adam because though Eve took a role that was not given to her – God went to Adam because the covenant was made with Adam the head of the woman. Eve was made for Adam and not Adam for Eve. When a woman disobeys God by usurping authority over her husband like Eve, a host of other sins inevitably follows. The bible shows that even the wisest man can get led astray by such women. It was Solomon’s wives who turned his heart away from God, and introduced child-sacrifice to the pagan god Molech (called abortion today) – (1st Kings 11:4-8). It was Jezebel who leads Ahab to commit deeper sin against God. It was Herodias who ask for John the Baptist head in a charger. It was Delilah who tricked Samson while deceitfully stroking his head in her lap. God gave us women and incredible role to help and influence our husband – but instead many are influenced away to disobey God.

Jesus died for us to reconcile us back to God after the fall. Sadly, many women have now made the Cross of Christ none effect and is trying to hold on to the idea of Eden. Similarly to what Eve did in Genesis 3 many married women now have tossed out God’s words and replace it with their own feelings as they converse with the serpent. Instead of obeying or submitting to God they are obeying themselves as they read their own (B.I.B.L.E.) basic instruction before leaving earth authored by themselves. Such wives have once again allowed themselves to be deceived. and their primary deceiver is themselves.  They have disobediently lusted after the forbidden and have become wise in their own eyes like Eve.;

Train Up A Child  

Proverbs 22:6 says, Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

The Lord has always expected parents to teach their children His ways: “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads” (Deut. 6:4-9).

God calls every generation of Christians to see to it that the next generation hears about his mighty acts. God does not drop a new truth from heaven on every generation but intends that the older generation will teach the newer generation all the commands and precepts of God

When God was preparing to deliver His people out of Egypt, Satan’s response was to orchestrate the killing of the children. And again when Jesus was born into this world, satan orchestrated the killing of the children again. Today Satan is at it again. He has upped his game – the only difference is instead of governmental mercenaries; he is using parent or parents to do his dirty work. He is annihilating entire families and he is using many either the father or the mother do it. When the family is destroyed; he has society, the world and the next generation. 

We should first settle in our own hearts the issue of the absolute importance of godliness in our own lives and then commit ourselves to it. What we are and who we are in obedience to God’s words will be the foundation from which we can effectively train our children. The bible cautioned and warns us to:  “Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come” (1 Tim. 4:7-8). 

Notice God’s Word says, “Train yourself to be godly.” Our children will not just see our and by that means become godly. They must be trained to be godly, just as we must train ourselves to be godly. Therefore it is correct to say that, our children should be the first of our disciples? Children will never  just “come up” by themselves in the Lord. They are “brought up” in the Lord.

So How Do We Raise Godly Children?

• Live a clean life before God and your children
• By first obeying God’s word how He said to raise them
• Teach them to look to Christ for fulfillment
• Be a Holy example Teach Your Children to pray
• We face tremendous pressures to satisfy our child/children’s desires with things of the world. We are inundated by it: entertainment, activities, possessions, etc. It is not to say that all of these things are in and of themselves evil, but it is to ask, “What is the source of ours and our children’s fulfillment?” If parents give into their child/children’s–or their own–cravings, the result will be children that we will look to the world for fulfillment instead of looking to Christ.
• Churches, in turn, are then pressured to bring in worldly things in an attempt to entertain worldly children. This should not be! Our perspective should be from the Bible to the world, not from the world to the church. One of the reasons children cast off restraint is that -they just don’t see what the church is supposed to be doing. We can drag our children to church and command them to sit still but utterly fail to impart to them a vision of serving God together as a family.
• Children will look somewhere else and the world is just waiting with hollow and destructive promises of fulfillment. It’s not just saying no to worldliness but giving them experience in true godliness.

The next basic for raising godly children is to protect and deliver our children from peer pressure. Peer pressure from worldly playmates or worldly homes will affect the lives of our children.

 If holy living is not demonstrated to them, we cannot expect that they will grow up with a desire to be holy. Likewise, children need instruction based on the word of God, as well as opportunities to grow and walk in holy behavior, knowing that their lives will be pleasing to Christ.